I have the best boyfriend/future hubby. My birthday is tomorrow. And he is so sweet. I love him. I have never loved anyone the way I love him.

I never thought I would that person who would ignore people. But I ignore stupid people all the time. People who I thought were friends of mine. But they just freaking used me for class. I am not that person. I do my own work. I am in college. This isn't elementary or junior high where your mom tells you what to do anymore. You are on your own. I don't have people attend class or even go online to do my online classes and get the assignments! I understand if you are sick or something I will be nice and help you out. But hell no if you think I am going to baby your ass and do every little thing for you. Don't even call me to find out why I am not talking to you or even worse Facebook message me and add me as a friend again. I deleted you. That should tell you something!! I swear people are so slow. I would not add someone again if they deleted me. I take that as they don't want to be my friend! Just accept it. In my life so far, people have taken advantage of me just because I am nice and I will help people, but never again. I am so done. And every one that takes advantage of me have all been girlfriends of mine. I have since then stopped speaking to all of them. I shouldn't have to be their mother. It just pisses me off that people freaking use me. I am so done!!!

I feel like my friends have lessened in the past 4 years. I have seen who my true friends are.

Honestly, I don't know how to feel inside or on the outside. I keep finding out that all of the guys I've ever liked are getting married or already married. I sometimes feel like that could have been me, if I wouldn't have been so outspoken when it came to guys. I always tell them how I really feel. And if I don't like them at the time... they know! But I feel somewhat jealous and when I shouldn't be. I LOST my chance to be with someone. I didn't want to risk anything at the time. It's like after they meet me they find the loves of their life. And I have always been the girl to have a back up guy. And now, all of those guys are freaking taken! Damn! What's a girl to do when her current relationship goes down hill? I am currently in a relationship where I do see marriage in the future and I am soooo very happy with my boyfriend... but I am so sick and tired of seeing all of those past guys married and taken... It is so hard to block them out with the internet and people that are Facebook friends. But still, I am annoyed at the fact that all of those jerks in my life have found someone. But I guess everyone needs someone. And to be honest, I was kinda torn inside when I found out that one guy was actually getting married in a few days!!!! It's like that Taylor Swift song, "Speak Now" but I totally missed out on that one. And our relationship was more rocky than anything else. We always fought kinda like The Notebook kind of love.